Hitting rock bottom is horrible.
I know, because I’ve been there. I’ve spent time sitting on my bed crying my eyes out, not knowing what to do next or fearful of the future.
Sometimes these were ‘little’ blips and I managed to pick myself up quickly and carry on, but other times those feelings lasted awhile.
In reality though, I hadn’t dealt with the issues, I’d just brushed them to one side putting them in a box closing the lid and trying to forget about them.
I’m not someone who talks about my feelings. I’m a do-er, a get on and get things done girl. The one who’s always strong and just deals with things. On the surface at least anyway.
About four years ago I finally had a wake up call and started dealing with ‘stuff’. I started working on the surface stuff and then by November realised I needed to work on the deeper stuff. I realised with help, that I had mild complex PTSD and set about healing that and then carried on working on the other things as they came up. It was incredible how things kept coming up, and still are coming up but to a lesser extent.
The healing hasn’t always been easy but it has helped a huge amount. I’m much calmer and have an even stronger bond with my son. His confidence over the last year has also grown. That’s not all down to me, but I like to think that me changing has helped him.
So, how can you avoid hitting rock bottom?
By looking after yourself emotionally and physically. Self care is something I talk about a lot, but I wasn’t so good at doing it myself. Over the last year it’s been a focus of mine and it definitely does help. I think the term self care has different connotations for people and it is certainly a buzz word. For me, it means doing things that nourish me mentally and physically. That might mean doing something by myself or with friends or family. For me, it’s not just about spending time alone. Fun and laughter with my son can be just as good as sitting quietly and reading a book, when it comes to topping up my tank. Different things work at different times.
How have I healed?
I’ve used, and still use, several different things to help me heal. Different things work for different people but I thought I’d share what has worked for me.
- Hypnotherapy and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). They have both worked brilliantly in different ways. I’ve now trained in hypnotherapy as it was so helpful.
- Journaling. I’ve done this in different ways at different times. Sometimes I just write whatever comes into my head, at other times I write about specific situations or answer certain questions. However you do it, it’s a great way to get thoughts out of your head and I find it brings clarity to situations.
- Exercise. I’ve started exercising more and it is definitely helping to reduce my stress levels.
- I’m not one for talking about my feelings, but I have started talking to friends a bit more when I’m not great. It’s OK to not always be the strong one.
- Eating more healthily. Some days I could get through the whole day without eating a vegetable, which isn’t great, especially as I’m vegetarian!
These things have helped me after hitting rock bottom and hopefully will give you some ideas. If you’re struggling the key is to do something. What you do will depend on what works for you, but you can get through this. If you’d like help and support you can come and join my free Facebook group, where I share tips and ideas and you’ll be able to talk to other parents who understand. You can find the group here: www.facebook.com/groups/connectiveparentingusingnvr
Or, have a look at my website for other resources, courses and events: https://sarahpfisher.com/services/
Through my training and support in The Connective Parenting Hub, I can help you discover the Connective Parenting NVR approach and we can work together, in our community of other parents who “get it”, to help create a calmer Christmas and beyond in your home.
If you’re a professional who works with children and families, click here for more helpful resources and support.