How do you handle a day that starts off badly? Our mindset can have a huge impact on how our day goes. One recent morning started as usual, but my son was just grumpy. I had to remind him about a piece of homework he still needed to do and then he didn’t like my horrendous suggestion it was time to get in the shower. Everything seemed to add to his already grumpy mood.
After his shower, I asked if he was alright as I’d noticed he was a bit grumpy. I made it clear he didn’t have to tell me, or he might not know why he was feeling that way, but I was there if he wanted to talk. He didn’t know why he was feeling off. I told him that’s fine, we all have days where we feel like that and it’s ok to be feeling grumpy for no reason. Our talk seemed to help him but it’s obviously not a great way to start the day.
In previous months or years, the bad start would have impacted me for the rest of the day. I would’ve let it affect me for a long time. On this occasion, I took a deep breath waited until he came out of the shower, we had a conversation about being grumpy and moved on with the day.
It’s so easy for us to say life’s rubbish, that’s my day ruined and everything’s really bad. We have a choice to change our mindset and decide if it really is a bad day. We can acknowledge it didn’t start brilliantly and move on. For me, mindset is such a huge part of parenting, if we believe things are never going to change. If we believe they are never going to get better. If we believe it doesn’t matter what we do because nothing’s going to work. Guess what – nothing is going to change or work.
One of the most important things I’ve done over the last couple of years is work hard on my mindset and I’m absolutely seeing that come to fruition. I’m calmer and more able to deal with things. In turn that’s helping my son stay calmer as I’m de-escalating more. I’m also showing him that we control our own mindset. He sees that if I set my mind to something, I can achieve it.
It takes time but if you want to change, if you believe you can then you absolutely can. One little thing I do every day is fill in my gratitude journal. Every morning and evening I write down 3 things I’m grateful for. It might sound small, but it can help shift your mindset. If you want to find the light at the end of the tunnel you will but you have to believe it’s possible. That’s where our mindset and mental health is so important. When we start being more positive and believing in what we can achieve then our children pick up on that and they will start having a more positive mindset. I’m seeing it in my son.
When you’re having a bad day, a bad week or can’t help thinking about how rubbish life is, allow yourself that time to have a moan. Then ask what one small thing you can change. Have you really had that bad a day or is it just your reflections on it? Focus on the positives that have come out of the day. Recognise you can decide to change your mindset and reset yourself to move forward. Changing your mindset a little bit at a time will make a huge difference.
Get More Help With This
At the 2022 Connective Parenting Conference coming up on 6th & 7th May, we have Samantha Bowley joining us to talk about the Drama Triangle and healthy communication. This is sure to be a great session armed with plenty of tips to help us turn a bad day around. Find Out More Here
Through my training and support in The Connective Parenting Hub, I can help you discover the Connective Parenting NVR approach and we can work together, in our community of other parents who “get it”, to help create a calmer Christmas and beyond in your home.
If you’re a professional who works with children and families, click here for more helpful resources and support.