It might seem unusual, but I’m starting this new blog at the end.
You see, I’ve already been on my ‘journey’. Most people write a blog to document their experiences. I’m doing it the other way around: I’ve had the experiences and now I want to help you by writing about them.
In 2014 I adopted a little boy from a troubled background. After going through the intense and stressful process of adopting, I was thrilled to have him. But, I’m ashamed to say that feeling didn’t last. After a few weeks my home started to feel like a battleground. Every day it got worse and worse.
I tried every scrap of advice I was given. I read every parenting book I could find. Nothing worked. My confidence plummeted and I felt as though I had run out of options. I desperately wanted to make our relationship work, but I didn’t know where to turn to get the help I needed. At times I felt like I was just adding myself to the list of adults who had let him down during his short life. And, I hate to admit this, but at one point I didn’t think I could go on. Then I discovered NVR or ‘Non-Violent Resistance’ Philosophy (also known as The New Authority). And, it’s no exaggeration to say: it changed my life.
What is NVR?
Well, yes, it could have a catchier name, and no, it isn’t only about improving the life of a child (or parent) behaving in an aggressive way. It works for any child, not just adopted ones, and it can be used to help children with all sorts of issues, including anxiety, eating disorders, or those who have experienced a trauma. Plus, it was the philosophy and way of life used by Gandhi and Martin Luther King. So I think I’m in good company.
The brilliant thing about this method is that it enables parents to block the destructive behaviour of their child. This might be towards others (e.g. hitting) or themselves (e.g. eating disorders). Having a way to block this behaviour is extremely empowering. As soon as I tried it, my confidence began to grow.
The focus of NVR is not about changing the child, but on changing the way you interact with that child. And, on increasing parental presence so that you can end the battle and create an atmosphere of love and affection.
Basically, it’s mind blowing.
I had so much success with this process that I decided to train in it myself, so that I can share it with others. Since then I’ve been working one-to-one and contributing to workshops to help as many struggling parents as possible.
The technique is easy to understand but implementing it successfully takes resilience and commitment, you ideally also need some good support in place to do it.
It is based on five ‘pillars’ of learning. Over the coming weeks I’m going to use this blog to explain each ‘pillar’ of the process, one by one, and some simple strategies for making changes in your home.
If you have run out of ideas for dealing with your child, and you want an end to the fighting and worry, sign up to my newsletter and have information delivered straight into your inbox every fortnight. Please feel free to share this post with any friends that you think could benefit, so that they can start to learn techniques that might change their relationship with their child too.
I’m looking forward to sharing as much information with you as possible, so that other parents can use this amazing technique to feel confident and empowered.
With warm wishes,
p.s. If you need help NOW, give me a call on 07817 544707 or click here. I’d love to have a chat about how I could help.